If we separate, who gets custody of the children? Can they take my child away because my German isn't good enough?

Joint custody: Married parents share custody (Sorgerecht) of their child, and this automatically continues after divorce. If you are not married, the mother initially has sole custody; for joint custody, a declaration (Sorgeerklärung) must be made at the youth welfare office (Jugendamt) or a notary.

Where the child lives: Even with joint custody, the child usually lives with one parent and sees the other regularly (Umgang). If you cannot agree, the family court decides. The court's standard is the child's wellbeing (Kindeswohl): who has mainly cared for the child, the child's attachments, stability, and whether there is violence.

Language and money: Not speaking German, not working or being a migrant does not by itself cause you to lose custody. You can ask for an interpreter at court and at the Jugendamt. To support your child, you can use state benefits such as Kindergeld, Unterhaltsvorschuss and Wohngeld.

If there is violence: If your partner is violent towards you or the child, make sure to say so; the court takes this into account in custody and contact decisions. Women's counselling centres and the Hilfetelefon (116 016) can support you through this process.

Be careful: With joint custody, permanently taking the child abroad without the other parent's consent is prohibited and can count as child abduction. If you plan to move, you first need an agreement or a court decision.

Free support: The Jugendamt and family counselling centres (Erziehungs- und Familienberatung) offer free advice on separation, custody and contact arrangements.