Single parenting: rights and support

As a mother raising your child alone in Germany, you're entitled to support both from the state and from your child's other parent. But most of it only starts once you apply. This guide is for women in Berlin who live with their child and take on most of the care on their own.

The first three things to do:

1. Switch to tax class II. With this change, less tax is deducted from your salary every month.
2. Sort out child support. If the other parent doesn't pay child support or pays too little, ask the Jugendamt for Unterhaltsvorschuss.
3. See a counsellor about your rights. Working out on your own how Kinderzuschlag, Wohngeld and Bürgergeld affect each other is hard. Counselling is free.

Financial support (2026 amounts)

What is Unterhaltsvorschuss? If the other parent doesn't pay child support or pays too little, the state pays it and then recovers the money from the other parent. It can be received until the child turns 18. There is an extra condition for children aged 12–17: if you receive Bürgergeld, your own gross income must be at least €600 a month.

Your residence status matters. For Unterhaltsvorschuss and Kindergeld, you need to be an EU citizen or have a permanent residence permit, a Blue Card or a residence permit that allows you to work. The conditions vary by type of permit. If you're unsure, ask the Jugendamt or a counselling centre.

Elterngeld: Single parents can also use the 2 partner months on top of 12 months of Basiselterngeld. The Partnerschaftsbonus is also available. For this you need to work between 24 and 32 hours a week.

Don't forget: If paying rent has become hard, you can apply for Wohngeld. If you receive Bürgergeld, Wohngeld or Kinderzuschlag, your child can also benefit from BuT. It covers costs such as school supplies (€195 a year), school trips and club memberships.

Custody and support from the Jugendamt

Who has custody (Sorgerecht)?

• If you're married: Custody is joint. It usually stays joint after separation or divorce.
• If you're not married: At first only the mother has custody. For joint custody, both parents need to make a joint custody declaration (Sorgeerklärung) at the Jugendamt or a notary. The father can also apply to the family court without the mother's consent.
• To prove you have sole custody: You can get a Negativbescheinigung from the Jugendamt. This document is useful for things like passports, school registration and the eFöB application.

With joint custody, if your child lives with you, you can make everyday decisions on your own, such as school transport, doctor's check-ups or daily spending. Important decisions such as changing schools, surgery or moving to another city or country need the consent of both parents. With joint custody, always get legal advice before taking your child to Türkiye for a long time or moving there.

Jugendamt Beistandschaft: free help

You don't have to fight for child support alone. If you apply to the Jugendamt, it does the following on your child's behalf:

• Calculates how much child support should be paid and has it officially documented.
• Tracks the payments and starts enforcement if they stop.
• If paternity isn't recognised, handles the paternity case at the family court.

This service is free and only starts if you apply. It doesn't affect your custody rights. You can end it in writing at any time. For the application, bring your child's birth certificate, your ID, your custody document and any existing child support decision.

Work and childcare

Double sick-child leave: In 2026, single parents can take 30 working days of sick-child leave (Kinderkrankentage) per child per year. With more than one child, this goes up to a maximum of 70 days a year. On these days, health insurance pays Kinderkrankengeld instead of your salary. You need a certificate from your child's doctor.

Kita: Once your child turns 1, you don't need to give any reason for up to 7 hours of Kita care a day. If you work, you can ask for longer care. For this, it's enough to give the Jugendamt a letter from your employer showing your working hours. In Berlin, Kita is free; you only pay a small lunch contribution.

School: In grades 1–3, Hort (eFöB) is free between 07:30 and 16:00. If you have sole custody, just add your proof of sole custody to the application.

MoKiS for out-of-hours care: If you work early, late, at night or at weekends, MoKiS matches you with a carer anywhere in Berlin. The service is free for Kita-age children and for the first two years of primary school. You apply at mokis.berlin.

Hourly care and volunteer support: You might need a few hours of care for a doctor's appointment, a parents' evening or just to rest. Berlin has free or low-cost options for this.

• Family centres in your district (Familienzentren): Some districts such as Lichtenberg and Mitte offer free hourly care for single parents.
• Großelterndienst: Matches you long-term with a volunteer "grandmother" or "grandfather". Single parents get priority.
• wellcome and Känguru: Provide a few hours of volunteer support a week in the first year after birth.

At work: You don't have to tell your employer you're a single parent. But if you do, it may be easier to negotiate flexible hours or working from home. You also have the right to work part time during Elternzeit.

If your residence permit depends on your spouse

If you came through family reunification, separation can affect your residence permit, but it doesn't always mean you have to leave the country.

• If you lived together in Germany for at least 3 years: Your residence permit is extended for 1 year, independent of the marriage. If your spouse holds a Blue Card, this period can drop to 2 years under certain conditions.
• If 3 years haven't passed: The time requirement doesn't apply where you can't be expected to continue the marriage, for example in cases of domestic violence, or where your child's life would be seriously affected. This is called a case of particular hardship (besondere Härte).
• Receiving Bürgergeld doesn't by itself prevent this extension.
• If your child is a German citizen, you may have a separate right of residence as the parent caring for them.

Before or right after separating, go to a migration counselling centre and plan together how and when to tell the Ausländerbehörde about the separation. If you're experiencing violence, make sure you're safe first. The women's helpline (Hilfetelefon) on 116 016 offers free support 24/7 in many languages, including Turkish.

This topic varies a lot from person to person. This section is only general guidance. Always get legal advice before making a decision.

Counselling and community

If you can't afford a lawyer: You can get a legal advice certificate (Beratungsschein) from the Amtsgericht. With it, you can get advice from a lawyer for about €15. For court proceedings, you can apply for Verfahrenskostenhilfe.

Practical tips from mothers

• Put everything in writing. Keep a record of child support agreements, contact arrangements with the other parent and important conversations by email or message. These records help a lot if there's a dispute.
• Don't put off applications. Unterhaltsvorschuss and Kinderzuschlag are usually paid from the month you apply. Getting missed months back retroactively is hard.
• Keep your documents in one folder. Birth certificate, custody document, Meldebescheinigung, payslips and rental contract are asked for in almost every application.
• Prepare emergency plans in advance. Who will pick your child up from Kita when you're ill? Give the Kita a signed authorisation with the names of at least two people you trust.
• Build yourself a support network. Set up small swaps with other parents at the same Kita or school, like picking up each other's children. You can also find a volunteer "grandmother" through Großelterndienst.
• Make time for yourself. You can use hourly care not just for appointments but also to rest. That's exactly what these services are for.

This section will grow with the experiences of women in the BACIM community. If something has worked for you, you're welcome to share it.

Sources

• Support for single parents 2026 (Federal Family Ministry, PDF)
• Unterhaltsvorschuss (Familienportal)
• Unterhaltsvorschuss 2026 amounts (buerger-geld.org)
• Tax relief for single parents (Haufe)
• Elterngeld FAQ (Familienportal)
• Custody (Berlin Senate Department)
• Beistandschaft (Jugendamt Spandau)
• Kinderkrankengeld 2026 (TK)
• Kita-Gutschein (service.berlin.de)
• Additional and flexible childcare options, incl. MoKiS (Berlin Senate Department, 2022, PDF)
• § 31 AufenthG: Independent right of residence for spouses
• Single parenting in Mitte (Bezirksamt Mitte)
• VAMV Berlin
• TIO e.V.

This guide is not a substitute for legal, tax or immigration advice. Information checked as of October 2026. The list of hourly care options is from 2022; check with the organisations that it's still up to date.